Varied jokes

   In the middle of a terrible argument with her husband, the wife says to him:
   -"There would have been better if I had married with the Devil."
   -"You wouldn´t have been able , the wedding between relatives is forbidden."

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   -"Doctor... I don´t raise my head, I laugh myself, I don´t speak to people, they speak to me  but I don´t pay attention... I look like an idiot all time... What do I have?"

   -"A Blackberry?"

   

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   My wife asked me 500 euros to fix her dentition.
   I say to her:
   -" Take 100, make bigger your breast. So... anyone is going to look at your teeth."

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    A ten years girl said:

   -"If my mother laughs and celebrates the my father´s jokes, it means that there are some guests in my home."

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   One of the advantages of the mature-aged is to be able to sing meanwhile you brush your teeth.

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   Why do the married women are fatter than the single women?

   Because the single woman arrives at her home, looks at what there are in the fridge and goes to bed.

   However, the married woman arrives at her home, looks at what there is on her bed an goes to the fridge.

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   After a horrible earthquake, José asks Manolo:

   -" Manolo, did your house suffer so much?"

   -" No, my friend!!! Luckily, it fell down all at once."

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   2 old people talk:
   -"What do you prefer: sex or Christmas?"

   -" Sex, of course! There is Christmas all years...

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 A 65 years man asks trainer in the gym:

   -"Which machine must I use to make an impression on a 30 years girl?"

   The trainer looks at him and says...

   -Hmm... I recommend you the automatic teller...

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   -"Look Pepe, I invite you to a party of 21 years."

   -"O.K. but... I come back when 3 months spend...

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   The wife, after parking her car, asks her husbad:

   -"My dear, is my car very separated from the pavement?"

   Her husbad answers:

   -"Of which of the two?"