viernes, 31 de mayo de 2013

The full to the brim of the meanness

One family was gathered in front of the father´s coffin recently deceased.

The minor son says:
- Now, we have to do the last father´s desire: being buried with a million of pesetas into his coffin.

The middle one adds:
-Yes, well... but, really we only will put 750.000 pesetas, because we have to discount the IRPF:25% 

The eldest son annotates:
- We also will have to deduct the IVA:16%
The widow mediates in the conversation with determination:
- It´s enough!
Your father doesn´t deserve these bargainings. We will bury him with the credit card... and that he spends the money that wants.

One old man is dying on his bed and calls his son. Then, he takes out a gold watch and says to him:
- This watch was bought by your great-great-grandfather. Do you like it?
- Well, my father. It isn´t the moment, but... I like it. Buy it to me!

Another man is dying on his bed and whispers:
- Montse, Montserrat... where are you, my dear wife?
- I´m here, my dear husband... next to you.
- And my son Josep... where is he?
- I´m here, my dear father... next to you.
- And my daughter Mercè... where is she?
- I´m here, my dear father... next to you.
- And my son Jaume... where is he?
- I´m here, my dear father... next to you.
-And... then...
- Damn it! Then... Why does the kitchen light is turned on?

A poor employee approaches to the boss´s office and says to him:
- Apologize me, sir manager, but... six months ago I don´t earn any money...
-You are apologized , García.


A father says to his son:
- Look, my son, go to look for a hammer to the Peter´s house.
He arrives there and says to him:
-Peter! My father asks if you can lend me the hammer.
The son comes back and says to his father:
-Dad, dad, Peter says he doesn´t want to lend us the hammer because it wears out.
- Damn Peter! - the father says. Well, so... go to look for the our one.

What does a mean do if he finds one sticking-plaster...?
He cuts himself to take advantage of its.

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